May 21 - After Lunch

13:30 -- I am sitting by Max' bed right now blogging from my iPhone. Max is resting comfortably after receiving his CPT, or chest physiotherapy. The respiratory therapist has this little vibrating padded tool that she uses on his chest and back to break up chest gunk. He seemed ok with it until she turned him over and then he did his silent scream thing. The nurse asked me when the last time I held Max was and I remembered it was the night before the ligation attempt over a week ago. He has been alive for three weeks today and I have held him less than an hour total over 21 days. It really really sucks. Everyday I tell him to hurry up because we have to go home. Everyone is waiting for him. I was reading another blog last night by a woman whose 31 week old was born with CMV. She was in the hospital for 5 months. How will we cope for that long without him home, if that's our plight too? When we were told he could be here "months and months" it didn't really matter because we were still in the immediate life or death phase. Now that we've been here for awhile and it already seems like forever what will June feel like? July? August? I am so thankful for the progress he has made, but I wonder..... When is my baby coming home?

14:30 -- Max is now up to 50ML of milk fortified with Enfacare! His belly looks less distended than it has the past couple of days. He did have more platelets transfused this morning, forgot to mention that. Also must report that he opened his eyes and synchronously tracked for several minutes. I got really close to his face on the off chance he could see me. I put my hand on his back and gently stroked him until he went back to sleep.